You know you’re in Kansas when ...

You know the meaning of Rock Chalk Jayhawk.

Your closest neighbor is more than a mile away, and you can still see him from your front porch.

Except in Johnson County, a Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F150 4×4 is.

Traffic congestion is 10 cars waiting to pass a combine on the highway.

You’ve had classes canceled for heat and snow in the same month.

You support the Chiefs through thick and thin.

You know that Mt. Oread is really only just a hill.

You have seen people wear bib overalls to funerals and weddings.

You know in your heart that K-State can beat Oklahoma in football.

Going on vacation means Hutch to the fair, Abilene to Ike’s house or Boot Hill to see Miss Kitty.

Your excuse for being late is the cows got out, and the boss accepts it Many times.

Your main drag in town is two blocks long.

You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.

You’ve been hit by enough tornadoes to know there is no such thing as Oz.

You can properly pronounce Salina, Basehor, Schoenchen, Kechi, Olathe, Chautauqua and Osawatomie.

The terms Sooners, Huskers and Missouri Tigers cause the hairs on the back of your neck to stand up straight and your blood pressure to rise.

You are not surprised to find movie rentals, ammunition and bait all in the same store.

You prefer the Little Apple over the Big Apple as a place to live.

You had at least one summer job that was bucking bails or custom cutting.

You understand the difference between 3.2 and 6 point, and more than once you’ve made a beer run to another state.

Your earliest driving lessons were in a field, while picking up hay.

You wave to all the oncoming traffic.

There’s a tornado warning and the whole town is outside looking for it.

Those strange lights you see at night is a farmer working late in the field, not a UFO.

Using the elevator involves a corn truck.

The number of the Co-op is on speed dial.

You can actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You know the real way to pronounce the name of Bill Clinton’s state and the river… arKANSAS.

You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

It’s a bottle or a can of pop and soda is something you bake a cake with.

You think the opening day of pheasant season is a national holiday.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Kansas.

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